There's a Time and a Place: A Retirement party is not one of them.

Making mistakes can be a humbling experience, especially when we realize that our actions have caused harm to others unintentionally. One such mistake that I made was when I tried to initiate a conversation about launching a white affinity group at my workplace during a retirement party. I thought it would be a good opportunity to connect with a colleague on this important topic, but I quickly realized that I was not prepared for the conversation.

I got tangled up when trying to convey my idea, and we didn't get to finish the conversation. As a result, I got in my head and started feeling shame and disappointment with myself for not realizing ahead of time that this was not the right moment for a deeper conversation. In retrospect, I realized that I should have approached this first conversation more strategically.

Pivot To Practice

One of the key lessons that I learned from this experience is that I need to choose my place and time better when initiating difficult conversations. I need to be more mindful of how my actions might affect others, especially when it comes to sensitive topics like race and ethnicity. Instead of trying to push the conversation forward in a way that makes others uncomfortable, I need to take a step back and consider whether this is the right moment for a deeper conversation or whether it would be better to wait until a more appropriate time.

Reflection

Another important lesson that I learned from this experience is that I need to focus more on maintaining calm and acting from a place of clarity. Often, I get so caught up in taking action that I lose sight of the bigger picture - this is not going to be a quick or simple fix. Instead of rushing into a conversation without being fully prepared, I need to take a step back and think through my approach more carefully.

In This Instance

In situations like this, one question that I could ask is, "Would you have time in the next few days to get coffee or schedule a chat?" This would allow me to approach the conversation in a more relaxed and focused manner, without putting undue pressure on the other person to engage with me on a sensitive topic.

I know, making mistakes is an inevitable part of life. However, by reflecting on our actions and learning from our mistakes, we can grow as individuals and become better equipped to navigate difficult conversations in the future. By choosing our place and time more strategically, focusing on maintaining calm, and acting from a place of clarity, we can create more meaningful and productive interactions with others.