Out of My Garage: A parrot in the wild

Phrases like “This is the way it's always been done.” “There was a glitch in the system.” and “The algorithm provided this result.” are problematic.

I’ve spent the last six months learning about what DEI work means to me as a white woman, another crazy mom nerding out in my garage in between working full time and loads of laundry. What responsibility and power do I have as an individual, a community member, and in the workplace to change what I don’t like about the world around me?

I stepped out of my comfort zone and went to a film showing of Deconstructing Karen in downtown Seattle. It was the first time I had gone into the city by myself. Listening to a powerful panel discussion from the Race2Dinner leaders Saira Rao and Regina Jackson I knew it was a pivotable moment.

This event concreted for me just how inaccurate the information about racism I have been operating based on during the first part of my life is. I have been parroting what I know, pretending that reality is different than the way it is out of comfort. I’ve been successful at turning my focus away from the pain in the stories being shared with me. These were seemingly insignificant moments but were important opportunities to practice compassion for other people I missed. When I turned away from those moments, their story, our stories, I was turning compassion away from myself and signaling that others will too. The cycle of pain I inflict is continuous and lonely when I am defensive to preserve my comfort.

Not what I want to be successful at.

Mentally I felt more aligned with my core values and in community with strangers in that crowd than I had in a long time. And yet, I found myself emotionally stunted and projecting my biases all over the place in attempts to comfort myself. It’s taken days but I ‘ve arrived at the conclusion that those biases and pain are just part of my human experience. I can’t get rid of the biases or lens I view the world through, but I can be intentional and aware of the pain they inflict on other people. I can control my actions, reactions, and build up my emotional intelligence.

You can too.

I’m molting my parrot feathers and coming out of the garage, out of my comfort zone. This final quarter of my UW Master’s degree, I have had the opportunity to do an independent study on the algorithms behind our tech tools and racial equity. I can appreciate why this would not be a compelling starting place for some, but I think you might agree that it is important to be thinking about, discussing, and developing oversight to ensure inclusion of the widest range of people as new technologies are being developed.

As a white person, I am already late to the conversation about racial equity. I’m going to say the wrong things, but I want my conscience to be clear more than I want to be perfect. I started with tech because that’s where I have curiosity and have spent time with at work. It’s where I am.

Where are you?