Introduction of Equity Work at Work

Recently, I had an experience that left me feeling a range of emotions - shame, guilt, anxiety, and elation. My workplace provided an equity article that prompted a public discussion about the equity work that the company is committed to doing. For me racial equity work is about breaking cycles of trauma and as someone who has vowed to break cycles of trauma on a deeply personal level, I felt conflicted about being asked to engage in this work in the workplace. On one hand, I was excited to have an opportunity beyond my personal life to contribute to meaningful discussions and learn more about racial equity. On the other hand, the thought of incorporating equity into performance goals, engaging in tough conversations, and the potential I was opening myself up to in publicly failing was overwhelming.

Pivot To Practice

To do this work, I needed to be open to unlearning in order to be more in alignment with my core values. I also needed to recognize that I had choices. I could be intentional about where I spent my time and how I provided for my family. If the equity work at my workplace didn't work out or turned down a path that wasn't fostering growth or sustainability, then I was highly employable.

Asking myself what I could learn from this discomfort was an important step towards growth and learning. I needed to delve deeper into what specifically about this equity work triggered my feelings of shame, guilt, and anxiety. I also needed to figure out how to work through these emotions in a way that allowed me to engage in the equity work in a productive and authentic way.

Reflection

In reflecting on this experience, I realized that engaging in equity work requires doing the inner work of breaking cycles of trauma. The discomfort I felt was a signal that I had work to do on myself. I needed to put my emotional reactions aside to contribute to building something larger than myself. This didn't mean ignoring my emotions or not processing them, but rather being intentional about how I showed up and communicated my struggles and concerns.

Engaging in equity work is not easy, but it is necessary. It requires a willingness to be vulnerable, to listen deeply, and to challenge our assumptions and biases. It also requires a commitment to doing the inner work of breaking cycles of trauma. By doing this work, we can contribute to changing the way we work together and building a more equitable and just world.

In This Instance

As I reflect on my initial experience with the equity work at your workplace, asking myself what I can learn from the discomfort I felt is an important step towards growth and learning. Here are some questions I have journaled on to go deeper:

• What specifically about this equity work triggered my feelings of shame, guilt, and anxiety?

• How can I work through these emotions in a way that allows me to engage in the equity work in a productive and authentic way?

• What resources do I need to support me in this process, whether it be therapy, support from colleagues or friends, or self-care practices?

• What opportunities does this equity work provide for me to grow and learn, both personally and professionally?

• What are my core values and how can I align them with the equity work I am doing at my workplace?

• How can I communicate my struggles and concerns about this work to my colleagues and supervisors in a way that is respectful and constructive?

• What choices do I have in this situation and how can I exercise agency in determining my own path forward?

In conclusion, my experience with equity work at work taught me that engaging in this work requires doing the inner work of breaking cycles of trauma. It also taught me that I have choices and can be intentional about how I show up and communicate my struggles and concerns. Engaging in equity work is not easy, but it is necessary for creating a more equitable and just world.