Monica Guzman: Certainty is the Arch Villain of Curiosity

Book: I Never Thought of It That Way

Website: This site is where you can find links to highlights of Monica's work. If you have the opportunity to hear her speak, do so!

Quote: "If you can't be curious across divides in a polarized world, you can't see the world at all."

Seattle Times Photo

Have you ever heard of algorithms? They are everywhere around us. Algorithms are like sets of rules that computers use to do things automatically. For example, when you search for something on the internet, algorithms help show you the results that are most relevant to what you searched for. But did you know that algorithms can also affect racial equality?

Monica Guzman wrote a book called "I Had Never Thought of It That Way." In the book, she talks about how algorithms can have a big impact on racial equality. When we use algorithms to automate tasks, it can sometimes make things worse for certain groups of people, especially people of color. For example, algorithms can sometimes be biased against people of color when it comes to things like job opportunities or housing. This means that algorithms can sometimes make it harder for people of color to get jobs or find a place to live.

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Sorting, Othering, and Silos

So what can we do about it? One thing we can do is to use the SOS framework. SOS stands for Sorting, Othering, and Silo. When we feel anxious or uncomfortable about something, we sometimes want to put distance between ourselves and others. This can lead to stereotypes and misperceptions. We need to think about what voices are missing from the stories we hear and the accuracy of the stories we do hear.

Sorting, othering, and silos are ways in which individuals and groups can become disconnected from each other, leading to polarization and lack of understanding. Sorting occurs when people group themselves based on shared characteristics, such as political beliefs or race, leading to the creation of echo chambers where ideas and beliefs are reinforced and those outside of the group are excluded. Othering is when individuals perceive those outside of their group as different or inferior, leading to the dehumanization of others and a lack of empathy for their experiences. Silos are created when individuals or groups become isolated from each other and only interact with those who share similar beliefs or experiences, leading to a lack of exposure to diverse perspectives and a reinforcement of existing biases.

For example, in a school setting, sorting can occur when students self-segregate based on their extracurricular activities or interests, leading to a lack of interaction between groups and limited exposure to diverse perspectives. Othering can occur when students label those outside of their social circle as "nerds" or "jocks," leading to the dehumanization of others and a lack of empathy for their experiences. Silos can be created when students only interact with those in their immediate social circle and never engage with those outside of it, leading to a reinforcement of existing biases and a lack of exposure to diverse perspectives. These dynamics can create tension and conflict within the school community, hindering efforts to create a more inclusive and understanding environment.

To me, this is what we're seeing in the polarization across America - dehumanization that is hindering efforts to take action and chip away at these complex issues impacting all of us.

Activate Curiosity

Monica Guzman says that we should try to be curious instead of fearful. We should try to understand the other person's point of view, even if we don't agree with it. We can do this by turning judgements into questions and keep the conversation focused on the person and their life, not just their ideas. The Perception Gap Study conducted by More in Common in 2019 revealed how distinct the beliefs of individuals on the other side of an issue are from what we assume them to be. Guzman often says phrases such as, "The enemy of curiosity is fear." and "Don't waste your fear on anything but danger." which for me sink home the aspects of fear I need to navigate through to close the perception gaps I have.

For me it's important to remember that fear originates from cave man days of avoiding sabretooth tigers. Now that instinctive fear is sending me lots of false information which gets in my way of calm, explorative curiosity. When I pause and acknowledge that what people believe about events can sometimes be more important than the facts, then I can learn something. We should try to understand why someone believes what they do, instead of letting our fears just dismiss their beliefs as wrong. We often assume the beliefs of the other side are more extreme and full of misperceptions when in reality issues are more complex than in the sabretooth tiger days.

Guzman recommends we explore complexity by asking questions about what someone is hopeful their belief achieves or what they are fearful of. Often folks with differing beliefs than our own are focused on a different slice of that complexity of an issue. When we ask questions starting out with, "Don't you care about..." or, "Why do you believe what you believe?" you're asking someone to prove themselves. Shift instead to questions such as, "How did you come to believe what you believe?" where you are asking someone to let you walk the path of their knowledge with them. Guzman goes on to recommend asking secondary questions like, "What are your concerns?" or "What do you hope for?" These reflect your genuine curiosity instead of the Why questions which will be received as condescension.

Your intent is not what matters in these moments. The words you choose to place into action will impact what people believe about events such as your conversation and will likely be more important than the facts you are intending to present.

Transparency and Clarity

We can also equip ourselves with knowledge. This means being transparent and clear when we communicate with others. We should make a distinction between an opinion and a person. Just because someone has a harmful idea doesn't mean they are a bad person. It's not about attacking the person but the idea.

Transparency and clarity are crucial in fostering productive conversations. Let's say a group of classmates are discussing a controversial topic, such as immigration policy. One student argues that immigrants are a drain on the economy and should not be allowed to enter the country. Another student responds by pointing out that many immigrants contribute positively to the economy and that denying them entry is unjust.

To ensure transparency and clarity, the students could start by defining key terms, such as "immigrants" and "the economy," and agreeing on credible sources of information. They could also strive to speak in a clear and concise manner, avoiding jargon and complicated language that might confuse others. By doing so, they can avoid misunderstandings and ensure that everyone is on the same page.

In addition, the students could make a distinction between opinions and personal attacks. Instead of attacking each other's character or motives, they could focus on the merits of each other's arguments. This would allow them to engage in a civil and respectful conversation, even if they don't agree on everything. By valuing transparency and clarity, the students can create an environment where everyone feels heard and respected.

Listening is About Showing People They Matter

Listening is a powerful tool that can demonstrate to others that they matter. When we actively listen to someone, we are giving them our full attention and showing them that their thoughts and feelings are important to us. By asking questions, reflecting on their words, and showing empathy, we are creating a space where they can be heard and feel understood.

To me, I do this best when I am able to focus not only on the words they relay, but also on breath. Going back to the breath is essential in this process, as it helps to center my mind and stay focused on the speaker. When I find my mind wandering and begin to think about how to use the information being conveyed, how I'll respond, or my own issues with what is being said, then I know I need to interrupt my inner dialogue. When I take that deep breath, I refocus my attention on their breath. What is fueling or taking their breath away? If I hold that old phrase, "Don't waste your breath." at center focus, then I can truly listen to what they have to say. I don't want to leave someone else feeling like they wasted their breath on me.

For example, imagine a friend who has had a difficult day and needs to talk about their struggles. By actively listening, I can provide them with a safe space to share their thoughts and feelings without judgment or interruption. I can show them that their experiences are valid and that I care about their well-being and want them to be able to breathe easy. This can be incredibly validating and may help them feel less alone in their struggles because I now breathe the same air they do. Through active listening, I am showing others that they matter to me, that their experiences, feelings, and beliefs are important to me. We have shared humanity.