Let's Walk and Talk: A White Affinity Group in the Workplace

At my workplace, leadership has launched a racial equity initiative. For us this meant they ask during the interview process if you're open to learning more about race, they hired a consulting company to provide us with an equity audit, they led us in workshops to review the findings, and leadership came up with a plan. As the discussions about race in the workplace began and have deepened, the feelings in me began to become conflicted and cloudier the closer I listened.

Someone recently told me that we're all late to the conversation about racial equity anyhow, which took the barrier of starting with where I am away from me. I already can't do this work perfectly. I will say the wrong thing. I will be afraid of what ifs like will I get fired because I speak out at the wrong time. But my leadership has incorporated this into my performance goals, my job description, and I have nothing to lose by joining the conversation and so much room for growth.

Now if you're like me, someone who identifies as white and a back office worker, then you might be wondering why is this worth so much time and energy when it takes away from the focus of my workload. How am I supposed to incorporate this external problem, one I assumed had been resolved or was someone else's issue to address, and marry it with my job duties and daily tasks? I thought of myself as a good person, someone kind to others, nice, and who works hard to include others.

Initially I was missing the point of what equity work meant. As I noticed my resistance, defensiveness, and the boiling emotions I was feeling, I got curious. This felt familiar because for the last five years I've been sorting through post partum anxiety, depression, strengthening my mental health and adding to my toolkit. I intentionally focus time and energy to build this muscle, practice, and my Spidey senses were alerting me to pay attention.

Work doesn't have a place for white folks to do these activities without hurting or placing the burden of teaching us on our BIPOC colleagues. A wise person recently told me to start doing the work and opportunities will come up. This is exactly why on Friday, May 12th, a few white colleagues and I went for a walk to talk about race. The goal was to explore what a white affinity group means to us and establish a next meeting.

As I listen and learn more, I am becoming aware the issue of racism is ingrained in my everyday activities. The systems and processes I default to and participate in are problematic and causing unintentional harm to my coworkers. I'm actively hurting folks I rely on because of how I have learned to survive in a society that operates on a foundation inherited from our slave owning forefathers. The impact today is real. It's as if I've simply agreed to follow the rules of slavery version 3.0 and not taken time to reflect on the impact it is having on those around me.

I want to reimagine how to pivot, to heal from the generational trauma that is playing out, and contribute to a healthier workplace culture. It may have not been me who caused the historical hurt, but it is me who can shift my mindset. In my way of thinking, just as I am strong enough not to yell, slap, shake, and terrify my kids like was done to me, I can build strength and skills to address the trauma racism creates too. I can heal and hold space for others to do the same.

I'm not a subject matter expert or remotely qualified to teach others all about DEI concepts, so I'm starting where I'm at. I've landed on the idea that I need to find and build community with people beyond friends and family who are talking about, unlearning, and practicing looking at things differently than what I currently know.

Since my workplace is incorporating equity as part of our core culture, then I have nothing to lose by finding an accountability buddy at work. Someone to talk to or a support group to process additional material they provide us with as this body of work unfolds. So I sent the Teams message.